A Human Approach

Jae Rang Headshot

“No” is a Perfectly Good Answer

Aha! Moment Monday

Oh, the holidays, where you’re stretched in a million directions; a time when an entirely new set of stressors sets in.

There’s the stress of finding the perfect gifts, the stress of finishing up those projects with less time to do so, the stress of not knowing if your online purchases will arrive in time, the stress of trying to get answers from people who are on every holiday party guest list, the stress of the year end arriving shortly when you haven’t quite hit your annual goals, (if you’re in an environment similar to mine) the stress of inclement weather and gnarly traffic that slows everything down, and the stress I call “The Walton Syndrome” of anticipating the perfect day when the family gathers to celebrate.

To make matters worse, these stressors can trigger a passive-aggressive tendency.

Here’s what I mean.

You’re sitting in a committee meeting and enthusiastically agree to the direction outlined by the leader and tasks assigned.  A few hours later your reality catches up with you and you admit to yourself you’re not really buying into it and can’t see yourself being accountable to the actions.  So you, quite possibly unconsciously, avoid committee communication citing that you’re crazy busy.

Aha!  “No” is a perfectly good answer

In the four agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz recommends one agreement you need to have with yourself is to be, “Impeccable with your word.”

You see stress isn’t created by the stressor; the person, the situation, the weather or the economy.  Stress is created by your reaction to it.  When you outwardly support an idea, initiative or team when in reality it doesn’t align with your values or time availability, then undermine it with avoidance, you add significant stress to yourself by not being true to yourself.

Christmas is a time for giving … and that giving includes you.

Gift yourself first.


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