A Human Approach

Jae Rang Headshot

Your Attention, Please

Aha!  Moment Monday

Have you ever shared information or instructions to someone in a verbal conversation only for them to carry out the plan differently? You thought you were super clear and on the same page with your colleague (child, spouse, provider) but the end-result was not at all what you expected.

Now it’s no secret that there is an invisible filter between what is implied and what is inferred because we listen with our subconscious mind directing traffic. Things do get lost in that translation. But I’m talking about listening itself and the ability to focus on what is being said.

Many people’s minds drift while they’re listening – they go in and out of the conversation – as words or phrases or even surrounding noises or activity can be distracting. That’s when I wish I could read people’s minds to know at which point they stopped listening and at which point they returned. Sometimes the glazed-over look is a clue, as are the questions they ask afterwards or the time it takes for them to respond to your questions.

Why is it so much easier to listen to some people than others, or some topics than others, or at one time than another? Why do some conversations simply go in one ear and out the other?

Aha! ~ “Your ability to be fully attentive relates directly to your priorities at that given time.” Enette Pauze, PhD, FEA

There are countless webinars, updates and online learning opportunities available and FOMO makes us want to jump on as many as possible to fill our cup and be prepared for the next phase.

Chances are if you’re listening to everything, you’re listening to nothing.

“Your mind is always focused on finding the answer to a question based on your priorities at that time. If what you’re listening to doesn’t answer your question or align with your priorities, your brain will procrastinate applying that information and assign its resources to what it perceives more urgent and important issues.” Says Enette.

Your priority changes daily if not more frequently. (In a webinar, yesterday the speaker said that technology accelerated two years in two months; it had to in order to accommodate changes in priorities.)

The answer? If you don’t have the band width to listen to a colleague (child, spouse, provider) ask for a grace period to take care of what you need in order to clear your mind and be totally present.

As for webinars, updates and online learning, ask yourself, “What is my #1 priority?” then attend only that which aligns giving you the answers to question #1, take action, then tackle the next question.

“The brain works in a sequential way” adds Enette “putting protocol in place to deal with what’s most important at that time. By operating with purpose you have every reason to connect.”


Have your Aha Moment Mondays delivered right to your inbox… sign up.